


The Journal

by FrostIron_ed (Thorki_ed)



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Notebook (2004)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Human, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:24:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorki_ed/pseuds/FrostIron_ed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by The Notebook, I FrostIron'd. </p><p>  <i>I am Tony Stark, and this is my story.</i></p><p>WIP</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I torture myself with the amount of WIPs I have, but I never abandon and I just needed something to help me focus my FrostIron feels. As some of you know, I've been working on a similar storyline using the Hiddlesworth pairing, and I love switching between the two. You can punch me later if I don't update for a while or spot any errors as they are of course 110% mine.
> 
> beware the sort of oging back in time stuff! I figure most of you know the gist of "The Notebook" so the framework if very, very similar. All questions will probably answered later on in the fic!
> 
> I thank everyone for their support, especially on here and from thorki-smut.tumblr.com, and I owe my progress to a lot of you. I'd never be here, writing, if it weren't for you. I hope you enjoy ~

_I am no one special, I’m just a common man with common thoughts. I was made special, by the life I chose to lead, by the people I chose to love. There should be no monuments dedicated to me, and maybe my name won’t soon be forgotten – but it has been by the only that matters. I’ve lived, and I’ve succeeded in many things, but in one respect, I’ve surpassed even the most glorious of common men._

_I am Tony Stark, and this is my story._

 

“Come on now, it would do you well to get some fresh air in you,” said the nurse.

The man made no move to get up.

“Well, this is Mr. Edward, he’s come here to read to you. You like that, right?”

The man shook his dark hair, jet black as the day they had first met, now streaked with grey. 

"You don't remember Ed reading his story to you?" the nurse tried again.

This time, the pale figure made no move at all, not even a glimpse of recognition. 

As much as it hurt Tony to see the simple action, he couldn’t blame Loki, he really couldn’t. Instead, he crouched down over Loki’s chair and smiled softly. “Hey, I’m just getting to the good part, don’t you want to find out what happens?”

As green eyes stared back at him – stared _through_ him – he desperately searched for a sign of recognition.

“Is this about the boys at the carnival?” the man finally whispered. Tony held back the tears, and not trusting his voice, he nodded. 

Tony looked down to the pages of his black notebook before taking a shuddering breath and began to read.

\--

_“Tony was at the carnival with his friend Steve, waiting for Thor to show up when he first saw the other boy. He was introduced as Thor’s younger brother, Loki, even though they looked nothing alike. Not that this Tony minded, because he thought Loki was beautiful.”_

“Come now brother, you’ll like him, he’s funny,” Thor said, nudging his stubborn brother along while waving this his friends. 

“Tony, Steve! This is my brother, Loki.” 

“Pleasure,” Tony said after Steve shook his hand, locking eyes with the younger sibling, hands soft but firm. “Do you want some cotton candy?”

“Ummmm, sure?” Loki said. The four of them walked in a fairly comfortable silence save for the small talk about their lives, candy running out, before Tony turned to Loki again, completely unable to stay away from him.

“You want to dance with me?”

Loki paused for a moment before answering, “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to,” Loki shrugged. It would have hurt had it not been for the semi-playful look on Loki’s face. It was an open invitation – a challenge, and Tony Stark never backed away from a challenge.

“You want to ride the Ferris wheel?”

“No,” he said, this time without hesitation.

“Why not?” Tony repeated.

“Because I don’t want to,” Loki said again, though in lieu of the shrug was a smile – a charming smile that made Tony’s knees weak. 

“Oh come on, Loki!” Thor suddenly appeared, throwing his heavy arm around Loki’s slender shoulders. “This is your first carnival, and my friend has been very generous in taking you on your first Ferris wheel ride! Where are your manners?” he teased.

Loki’s entire façade changed in a matter of seconds. “You are right, dear brother. Where _are_ my manners?” He shook his head lightly, and Tony admired the silky black strands that sprung about. “Tony, please forgive my atrocious behaviour. I would be honoured if you accompanied me upon this Ferris wheel of which you speak.” 

_Did he really just bat his eyelashes?_ Tony thought, bringing his elbow up for Loki to take hold of. Once Thor was out of earshot, his curiosity could be sated no more. “What was that all about?”

“I apologize,” Loki said, sincerely this time. “Thor’s dragged me out here and I know he means well, but I was never much for crowds and loud noise, let alone riding a giant, flimsy wheel that only took two days to construct," he added warily, looking up at the tall structure.

Tony laughed at the endearing sight. "Not scared, are you?"

"Of course not!" Loki snapped.

"Good. Let's go, then," he said, smiling as the line shuffled forward, and they soon sat upon the rickety carriage upon the wheel. One thing Tony loved was that he automatically felt comfortable in the silence that settled between them. He took the time instead to study Loki's features, sharp and deadly but so very soft in their own way. When Loki caught him staring, all he could do was offer a goofy grin. 

“Go on a date with me.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I’d like to take you out. Say yes,” Tony repeated with a grin. There was something that told him Loki would bite – if Loki were a cat, his tail would be swishing back and forth at the moment.

“And tell me, Tony Stark, why on Earth would I do that?”

On a whim, the brunette lurched forward and caught the bar in front, hopping out of their cart to dangle in mid-air. 

“ _Oh my god – Tony! What the hell are you doing?!_ ” Loki hissed.

“You left me no choice,” Tony replied nonchalantly. The ride had stopped entirely, with the operator shouting at them from below.

“Tony, get down from there!” the man shouted.

“Relax, Clint! I know what I’m doing!”

“Like hell you do!” the man grumbled. 

“So, will you go out with me?” Tony asked, turning his attention back to his person of interest.

“Are you out of your mind?” Loki asked, face blanched. 

“Well…” He took a deep breath and let his left hand slip, keeping a good grip with his right. 

“Tony! _GRAB THE BAR_!” Loki shouted frantically. 

“Go out with me then,” Tony persisted, grimacing his face in pain. “My hand’s slipping…”

“THEN GRAB THE BAR!” 

“Not until you agree,” Tony said one more time.

“OKAY!”

“Okay what?”

“Okay, I’ll go out with you if you grab that damn bar and get your ass back into this cart, _this instant!_ ”

“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” Tony chuckled, swinging to plant both his hands on the bar again, legs stretched to the cart and only being able to make it back in with Loki guiding his feet and offering a hand. 

“I was'n't flustered," Loki protested, though mentally he was demanding his heart to stop racing. "How on Earth were you going to land safely if I had said no?”

“You wouldn’t have said no,” Tony said confidently.

“Because you threatened me with… With your _life_ ,” Loki spluttered, still taken aback by what had just happened.

“You still didn’t say no.”

“But _what if_ I had?”

“I would’ve let go,” Tony said cheerfully.

Loki shook his head at the psychotic man sitting beside him. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”

“Well, I am a genius,” Tony said with an exaggerated eye roll.

“Oh really?”

“You bet. I have an IQ of 169 and an almost photographic memory.”

Loki hummed, but didn’t acknowledge the score like anyone else Tony told.

“Well you don’t seem very impressed.”

“IQ of 172, eidetic memory, Chess Champion of Norway five years running.”

Tony’s smile threatened to split his face in half, and this time, Loki returned it. 

 

\--

 

“Taking him out” had apparently meant “stalking you and waiting outside your house at 6 o clock”. He was perplexed when he saw Tony on his doorsteps, but acknowledged the man nonetheless. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Taking you out,” he responded simply.

“I was already going out, and you’re not taking me anywhere.”

“I want to follow you for a while, keep you company. Then I’ll take you to dinner.”

Loki didn’t exactly have an argument for this, and as long as he was out of the house for a longer period of time, he didn’t mind. 

“So, where are you off to?”

“Nowhere, really,” Loki admitted.

“Still kind of new to the town, I take it?”

“I suppose. I haven’t had much time to explore. My father’s very adamant about my studies.”

“Tough guy, but you’re a genius remember? You should live the life, go to carnivals and go on dates with people, that sort of thing.”

Loki rolled his eyes, but with a small smile. “Like you?”

“Well no, I’ve been told I can be rather unstable sometimes, but kind of. Kind of like me. You look like a sweets type of guy, come on.”

The diner was cozy, and the booths were so oversized only a few patrons could be allowed in at any given time. Loki liked it already. The booths were a worn, dark green, the tables black and the waitress friendly.

“Tony,” she greeted with a sweet voice. “It’s been a while, I hope you’ve been eating healthier.”

“Wouldn’t be back here if I was, Pep,” he responded cheekily. “This is my friend Loki,” he gestured to the boy behind him. “Loki, this is Pepper.”

“Pleasure,” Loki greeted with a clasp of his hand and light brush across the knuckles of the blushing strawberry-blonde. 

She giggled and handed them menus telling them she’d be back in a few minutes. Two other occupied tables called for her attention, and Loki began to skim the menu. When he had settled for the sliders and sweet potato fries with a chocolate milkshake, he realized Tony had not even opened his menu, and was instead focusing on the little jukebox by their table. Curiously, he watched Tony fish the coins from his pocket and deposit them in the little coin slot. 

_Imagine me and you, I do_  
 _I think about you day and night, it’s only right…_

“Really?” Loki asked with a raised eyebrow. He couldn’t tell if Tony’s smirk in place of a response was more infuriating than it was charming, but he was certainly starting to think so. 

_If I should call you up, invest a dime_  
 _And you say you belong to me and ease my mind_  
 _Imagine how the world could be, so very fine_  
 _So happy together…_

When Pepper had finished taking their orders, Loki asked the inevitable question. “So tell me, why were you so set to get this meeting with me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Tony chirped.

_Oh, so this is how it was,_ Loki thought to himself. "Wouldn’t you like to know why I agreed?” he countered.

Tony’s shit-eating grin fell the slightest bit - _Checkmate,_ Loki thought as he sipped the milkshake that had arrived. 

_When you’re with me, baby the skies’ll be blue_  
 _For all my life…_

“You were different – a good kind of different, like a kind of different that I’d never seen before, and want to hear about… So I took a gamble.”

_Me and you, and you and me_  
 _No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be…_

“You’re the only one who would do so, Tony Stark.”

_The only one for me is you, and you for me_  
 _So happy together…_

“So, tell me more about yourself and all the weirdest stories you can think of, because I love proving myself right.”

With a twinkle in his dark peridot eyes, Loki spun a beautiful story filled with half-truths and white lies, watching as the man across him soaked up every last word. 

_So happy together_  
 _We're happy together_  
 _So happy together_  
 _Happy together_  
 _So happy together_  
 _So happy together_  
 _(ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)..._

 

Tony reached across the table –

 

\--

 

“Sorry Ed, it's time for us to get Mr. Laufeyson back to his room."

 _Mr. Laufeyson,_ Tony thought glumly, staring down at his wedding band that he refused to remove. _It should be Stark. Your patient is Mr. Stark. **I** am Mr. Stark. We're.._

Lost.

_We're lost._

"Yes, of course, let me help," he finally said.

"You have an appointment with Dr. Banner, Edward," the nurse shooed, taking the brakes off Loki's wheelchair, and turning him to leave the room. Just as she began to push, a cold, pale hand clasped Tony's and it nearly brought him to his knees.

"Thank you, for reading. I liked your story," Loki said simply, his green eyes looking at Tony, but not _seeing_.

"It was my pleasure. Would it be okay if I read to you tomorrow too?"

This time, Loki nodded before he was wheeled away, and Tony shuffled to Dr. Banner's office, clutching at his chest where his rotting, broken heart resided.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize dearly for the long break. Here's the first in my attempts to get back on the writing scene! <3

“Well?”

“It’s not looking good, Tony. Have you been taking your medicine?” Bruce asked.

“Of course I have,” Tony said easily.

Dr. Banner gave a heavy sigh, wrapping the stethoscope around his neck once more, and grabbing another container of the pills he had Tony take.

“Remember to keep taking them, and it would be best if you could find a nice, relaxing hobby because I think the stress is getting to you.”

“Doctor, I’ve been a man with heart problems since I was a little boy, and each year they tell me to be careful. I’m doing something right if I lived another 50 years, right?”

The doctor gave him a friendly pat on the arm. “I know, Tony. I just worry about you is all.”

“I appreciate it Doc,” he said, clasping the other man’s arm in response. “Have yourself a good night.”

“You too, Tony.”

\--

 

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Tony greeted, leaning against the wooden frame of Loki’s doorway.

“Hello,” Loki replied kindly from his chair, eyes idly watching a flock of birds out his window.

“How are you this morning?”

Loki contemplated for a moment before replying. “Okay. The weather’s getting colder. I think I like it.”

It was the exact same response that Tony had gotten the past couple of days. It broke Tony’s heart to think that Loki couldn’t remember – not just that Loki didn’t remembering telling him, that Loki didn’t remember how much he loved the winter. The snowball fights and warm hot chocolates, the game of who could catch more snowflakes on his tongue and the cuddling afterwards… Tony remembered it all. 

“I’m sure you do… You’re not bundled up like everyone else already,” he added, gesturing to the heavy wool sweater he wore – the sweater that Loki had personally knit for him. Sadly, it didn’t trigger Loki’s memory.

“That’s a nice sweater. It looks very warm, I’m sure you’re quire prepared for the winter.”

“Yeah,” Tony barely managed, running his finger along the deep red wool. The silence lasted a moment longer before Loki tore his gaze away from the window and back to Tony. “Will you continue your story for me?”

Tony’s eyes instantly shone. “Of course. I’ll be right back,” he assured with a smile, bounding to his room to retrieve his journal and returning slightly out of breath.

Loki hadn’t moved, but gestured his hand to the bed for Tony to take a seat. 

Clearing his throat, Tony picked up where he left off.

\--

 

_Tony reached across the table to take Loki’s hand… Now Loki was surprised by the action, oh his eyes widened and he almost seemed at a loss for words, but he didn’t pull away…_

“So, when can I take you out again?”

Loki laughed. “You mean wait for me by my door?”

“Well, it’s easier if we actually set a time, but I can do that too,”

“You’re a very persistent one, Tony Stark.”

“I have to be when the object of my affection seems just as determined to avoid me.”

“Those who don’t chase are the ones unworthy.”

“Then I must be pretty damn worthy, don’t ya think?”

Loki’s eyes twinkled in that moment. “Oh yes, Tony Stark. I think you’ve proven yourself quite well. Say, why don’t we go for a late night show?”

Tony broke out it a wide smile. “I know just the place.”

\--

“That part was not the slightest bit plausible!” Loki exploded once they had gotten out of the theatre. The scrawny boy manning the ticket booth shot them a curious look.

“Oh of course it was, the speed of the train, the velocity and trajectory of the arrow…”

Loki made a disgruntled face that pushed Tony into a fit of laughter. It proved to be infectious as the pair started feeding off one another, giggling as they walked along the abandoned street. 

“And that horrendous dance scene – I mean, who _actually_ dances like that?” Loki asked with an incredulous look. 

“Here,” Tony said, offering his scarf, even though he was shivering just the slightest. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Keep it. I don’t want to be the one responsible for your hypothermia Besides, I do enjoy the nice breeze.”

“Fine, then let’s warm up another way,” Tony suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“And what do you propose?” Loki challenged slyly.

“Take my hand.”

Loki wondered if he would regret it, but slipped his slender fingers into Tony’s calloused ones and was immediately swept off his feet – quite literally. Tony laughed at the look of horror on Loki’s face as he dipped Loki back extravagantly.

“Tony Stark!” 

Tony just laughed, laughed because Loki always used his full name, laughed at the pink of Loki’s cheeks, laughed at the shrill of his voice when he was caught by surprised, and especially at the fact that Loki immediately turned the tables and spun him around when he pulled Tony up. Now, with Loki’s arm on his waist, he let himself be guided along the sidewalk without a care in the world.

Losing track of time and space, they found themselves wandering into the middle of an intersection, bringing their twirling to a slow dance, with Tony’s head tucked underneath Loki’s chin, the swaying of their bodies in perfect time. A car honked loudly at them, forcing them to scatter and retreat to the sidewalk before venturing out again and picking up their dance. 

“I’m beginning to think that the horrendous dance scene wasn’t entirely too vile,” Loki admitted softly.

Tony lifted his head from Loki’s chest and smiled back. Slowly, he wound a hand around Loki’s neck and brought the man downward, staring into the inquisitive green eyes. When they closed just inches away from his face, he let his own slip shut and his senses go into overdrive as he met Loki’s lips. They were soft, and cool against his own as he ran his tongue along Loki’s impending smile. He nibbled at the bottom lip as Loki in turn explored his mouth. All too soon, Loki broke away, though his lips still curled in a small smile.

“I have to say, this town is much more… fun than I had originally thought. I’m afraid I have to be home soon…”

“Can I walk you?” Tony asked immediately. 

Loki blinked at him before nodding. It turned out that they learned quite a bit from each other, and not surprisingly, liked it.

Loki liked that Tony worked hard for his money, and that it showed in Tony’s toned arms and tanned skinned. He liked that Tony laughed from his chest, and that he did it frequently. He liked that Tony was persistent, and still not deterred by Loki’s attempts to shoo him away. He liked that a lot.

And Tony? Well, Tony liked the way that Loki’s laugh touched his eyes – the eyes that changed colours in the right light and the deep, beautiful dark green could become as blue as the ocean. He liked that Loki’s laugh was so rare, like Tony was extracting something pure and reserved just for him, and that when he _did_ laugh, it was light and magnificent. He liked that Loki was smart – didn’t like it that Loki thought he was smart _er_ , but appreciated someone else’s intelligence.

When they finally found up at Loki’s doorstep again, he stuck his hand out and this time, Loki was the one to catch him off guard with a quick peck on the cheek. “See you around, Tony Stark,” he added with a wink, closing the gate behind him and walking to his door. He didn’t want to look back, but curiosity got the best of him. A quick glance over his shoulder, it couldn’t hurt could it?

And there was Tony, eyes wide and mouth open, forming an almost half-smile in what seemed to be in the midst of confusion. Fingers hovering over his cheek where Loki’s lips had been, he watched from the gate, and when Loki looked back, Tony was staring right back at him. Their tummies both flipped, and Loki offered a weak smile before walking through the door and closing it behind him.

He shouldn’t have looked, but he did, and unknowingly put a vicious cycle into motion. 

\--

“Oh my,” Loki murmured. “You make it sound as though they must have went through a world of suffering.”

 _Like you wouldn’t believe,_ Tony thought. “Oh yes they did… It’s a bit of a long story, this one.”

“Well, I can’t wait to hear all of it then,” Loki smiled. “If you will have that, Mr. Edward.”

“I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” Tony said genuinely. 

The nurse had knocked then, saying that it would do them both good to get out, since the morning chill had long since disappeared since the sun had appeared some while ago.

“What d’ya say?” 

“Will you continue to read for me?” Loki asked.

“Absolutely.”

With one arm around the nurse and one arm around Tony, he lifted himself up and fiddled with his clothing. He walked ahead of them, slowly and carefully, and Tony knew that this was one of his ‘good’ days – the days where his previously shattered pelvis didn’t scream out with agony, where his thoughts were somewhat coherent and his voice was calm and he could remember “Edward” when he spoke to Tony. It just so happened that these ‘good’ days of Loki’s were the worst days for Tony, because these were the days where Tony’s heart would leap at seeing the clearest green eyes he could remember since Loki had been admitted, and these were the days that Tony nearly blinded himself with driven hope, pushing himself, and Loki, to remember. These were the days where Tony would beg and plead for Loki to see him, and each time he failed to, Tony would break a little more.

The lawn chairs outside were arranged to look into the small bay – Tony had, after all, paid for Loki to be put in the best home available. 

“Will you tell me more of the story of this mysterious boy and Tony?”

Tony nodded, telling himself to breathe again, and to ignore how soft Loki’s voice was when he said Tony’s name. They had advised him not to force Loki into his old memories, that it would only confuse him more and send him into fits, but who on Earth could stand by and watch their lover deteriorate? Having to introduce himself all over again, as “Edward” even, had already been overwhelming as it was.

“Now let’s see, where was I…”


End file.
